…is it love OR infatuation!

You know when we are in LOVE we need to wait for forty days to be sure of our feelings …else it could be mere INFATUATION! It’s a myth that only during teens we are infatuated …even as adults we could commit the same mistake, since some of those same feelings and needs could exist for you, even at a later stage of your life. In adult life too, loneliness and innocent fantasies can embrace you and drive you to infatuation! Then the million dollar question arises, how do we differentiate between the two!

When you feel you have finally found THE ONE, maybe you can ask yourself couple of questions, so as to pass your feelings through a litmus test. Ask yourself, “Do you feel comfortable with your newest love interest OR do you just want to feel comfortable with someone? Is this the person that you want to spend your life with OR are you just afraid to march into the future alone?” While Love is “being in love with a person”; Infatuation is “being in love with love”. Be wary of your own vulnerability and your own desire to liberate yourself from that life of singles!

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It is actually your ability to tell what is REAL in a relationship VERSUS what is IMAGINED. The Reality Factor plays a vital role in LOVE. Your focus is on your special someone, and that someone exists in the real world. In addition, real love is more concerned with how you can give to your partner than what you can get from him or her.

Sometimes you maybe simply physically attracted to a member of the opposite sex and hence infatuated …then again it isn’t love but lust! Love benefits and grows through time; infatuation ebbs and diminishes with time. Genuine love is other-person centered. Infatuation is self-centered. While genuine love is focused on only one person; an infatuated individual may be “in love” with two or more persons simultaneously.

Real love requires and fosters a sense of security and feelings of trust; while infatuation is blind to problems and has a blind sense of security, based upon wishful thinking rather than careful consideration. In love, affection is expressed later in the relationship; in infatuation affection is expressed earlier, sometimes at the very beginning and this affection tends to push towards greater physical intimacy. A couple in genuine love is not indifferent to the timing of their wedding, but they do not feel an irresistible drive towards it. An infatuated couple tends to feel an urge to get married—instantly. Postponement for the infatuated is intolerable.

Infatuation can be referred to as “lust” OR “crush” and has a few great things going for it too. Infatuation gives you goose bumps. It puts that silly smile on your face that you can’t seem to shake. It fills your mind with wonderful daydreams. And, of course, many love relationships start out as infatuation. While infatuation is powerful, it is short-lived. Infatuation flourishes on perfection – you have an idealized image of your partner and you only show your partner your good side.

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However when you love someone, you are there to support them, you work together to solve problems, you’re willing to stand by this person in good times and bad and you wish nothing more than to watch and help this person grow. Love develops gradually over time …can last a long time and becomes deeper and more powerful with time. In addition, love accepts the whole person in toto, with all his or her imperfections as well.

It’s important to note that, there is no such thing as “Love At First Sight.” Since love takes time and commitment to discover the wonder of a lasting relationship. However there is “Infatuation At First Sight” – which can be amazingly fun and thrilling – and someday it may even lead to love. And there’s nothing wrong with two people being infatuated with each other, as long as both people recognize the relationship for what it is!

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